Administratum Joke

1. The heaviest element known to science was recently
2. discovered by physicians at Whatsamata U. The element,
3. tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or
4. electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However,
5. it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons,
6. 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice-neutrons.
7. This gives it an atomic mass number of 312. These 312
8. particles are held together in the nucleus by meson-
9. like particles called memos. Since it has no
10. electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
11. detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it
12. comes in contact with.
13. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of
14. Administratum caused one reaction to take 4 days to
15. complete when it would normally take 1 second.
16. Administratum has a normal half life of approximately
17. 3 years, at which time it does not actively decay, but
18. instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant
19. neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons
20. exchange places. Some studies have shown that atomic
21. mass number actually increases after reorganization.
22. Research at other laboratories indicates that
23. Administratum occurs naturally in the atmosphere.
24. It tends to condense and concentrate at certain points
25. such as governmental agencies and universities, and can
26. usually be found in the newest, best-appointed, and
27. best-maintained buildings.
28. Scientists point out that Administratum is known to be
29. toxic at any level of concentration, and can easily
30. destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to
31. accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how
32. Administratum can be controlled to prevent irreversible
33. damage, but results to date are not promising.
34. Author
    1. Anonymous